lazy blogger

I've been off for a month and haven't blogged. As you can see, I changed the look of my page but haven't been inspired to write. I use most of the little energy I have picking up the house, doing the endless dishes and then I sit down and read the 40 other blogs that I love to read.

Today is Zoey's due date. I'm not banking on her arrival - and hoping she doesn't come until I at least finish this load of laundry, it has some serious essentials in it. :)

I hope I never become housebound. The past week I have had little energy to do much outside of the house. Luckily, my sister moved back and kept me company at the end of the week and I had some visitors at the beginning of the week. However, it's not about the lack of contact with people it's just being inside these walls day after day without being able to tackle big projects. It makes me realize just how lucky I am to have my health, even whatever variation of it I have now. I can't wait to get back on my Wii and walking and hiking and jogging! Especially hiking and kayaking. I hope I can get up to the lake this summer and kayak around. In our birthing classes when they told us to well, basically go to our happy place, I just thought about being in a kayak, alone on Chase Lake.

i'll just have to wait...i'm getting really good at it...

Easter

Here's to renewal, rebirth, forgiveness, fresh starts, blooming flowers, buzzing bees, the bursts of leaves but mostly... baseball. ♥

Let's go Yankees!

week 35

my life ticks by in weeks until the due date of my daughter. this week is my last week at work. With such impeccable timing spring break is the first week in april and I am taking 3 weeks before my due date off as I have enough vacation time to do so. Thank God. Being a preschool teacher is exhausting so is being pregnant. Doing both is ridiculous especially now at the end of this pregnancy.

How weird to be so close to the end of my second year of teaching. How different this year has been than last. On so many levels.

It is going to be very hard to say good-bye to my students this week but at the same time it will be such a relief. I am normally such a hard-worker and hands on teacher always running around with the children and getting down on their level. Racing on the playground, pulling the children in wagons. Now I am like a big blob. Obviously, there is reason behind this but it's annoying. It will be a relief to know my co-teacher has someone who is physically able to help her. Also, it will be a relief not to feel like I'm letting the children down when I tell them I can't do something because my body isn't able any more. Selfishly it will be a relief to just lay on my couch and be exhausted for a little bit cuz that ain't happenin' for a long time after Z comes!!

baseball and birthing...

My mom told me one of my favorite "tiny kate" stories last night. It the one where I come home from being born in the hospital and she and my dad put me on the card table to watch the world series. That was back when the world series was in the beginning of October. That year it actually began on Oct 10 (day of my birth)... is it no wonder that baseball is the most soothing thing on Earth to me?

So, yeah I purchased The New York Yankees Fall Classic Collector's Edition 1996 - 2001 DVD set to take to the hospital in lieu of "relaxing music" for labor. I don't care what your opinion is about this idea. I love it. It refocuses my attention to something and that is the point of soothing music or whatever right? You're supposed to go to your happy place? Well, my happy place is wherever the Yankees are playing. If you know me, you may remember back in 2004 when I was having debilitating panic attacks. There were only 2 remedies: milk and Yankees games. Seriously. My poor inlaws were kind enough to listen to a midday game the entire way from Binghamton to the Albany airport that August.

We start our final baby class this week: birthing. I don't want to go. I am so fricken tired of baby stuff. I want to go crash a graduate English course at BU. A year ago 3/15 I started my Master's Thesis which was about a billion times harder and more interesting. Plus no one gave me that knowing look or an annoying comment when I was writing my thesis. I have to start writing again or doing something intellectual. (and don't you dare tell me "good luck with that, you'll have a newborn soon" I swear to the HP...seriously.) my soul is withering away...but it's march so i guess this is the annual sh*tstorm before the joy of spring...

itunes mix

our itunes has EVERYTHING on it...including my preschool music. I love it when I hear Nick up in the construction zone, drilling away listening to the doors "people are strange" and then the next song is something by susan salidor like "come and make a circle" and now we have some country playing.

...our wacky world...

bad mama

Today we did NOT have a snow day. It began to snow a little too late but it still made travel treacherous. I fish tailed my way to work. About half way through I started to think how I would never put Zoey in the car on a day like this... then it dawned on me that I had! Minutes later my car went careening (okay, I was going 15 mph but still) towards the underside of a bridge where those big concrete pillars are. Luckily the car, me and my belly all went unscathed but as I continued to fishtail every time I pulled away from a stop sign or red light I was bawling uncontrollably. What a bad mama I was to be driving my stupid little car to work in such bad weather with a not even fully developed babykins in my uterus. I should have just left 40 minutes earlier with Nick. I was sobbing when I got to work, totally puffy, red clown face. Just the beginning of the guilt-ridden feelings of parenthood... *sigh*

BCC FINALLY closed early and I made it back safe but I'm not going out again until Monday, at the earliest. The Honda was a beast when it was just me in a snowstorm but now it's us.

us and a snurricane or snonado. both terms which annoy me. sensationalized weather terminology, just something more to piss off an english major. how about blizzard? or snow storm? something accurate. karli said it best when she said (paraphrased) "am i going to be flooded with snow or sucked up in a snowy tunnel of wind?" exactly. i get the Baltimore/DC Metro area proclaiming "SNOWMAGEDDON" or whatever. That was cute and those poor suckers never get 4 feet of snow! But we're upstate New Yorkers. We can handle lots of snow. Unless we're pregnant and in a honda civic on clinton street... then our hormones kick in and we cry like babies.

Finally, to commemorate this crazy snow storm, the emotions that i'm feeling and what others around me are going through I made a groovy mocktail. I even put it in a margarita glass and am using a small little straw. it's delicious and beats a mug of hot chocolate today...

30 week update

75% of this pregnancy is over. As someone wrote on one of the message boards I read "in 7-10 weeks i get to meet my child" which of course made me cry.

3 things...

1) Her last name will also be Miller-Corcoran. Her middle name will be revealed at a later date.

2) Here is the painting I made for her room:
3) Here is what I look like now: