ch-ch-changes

My clothesline last week filled me with a weird amount of joy. The day brought a ton of sunshine and Z's clothes were out on the line all tiny and colorful. Our backyard neighbor yelled to me, "Looks like you've got a baby in the house" and chuckled. So true.

By the looks of the clothesline a lot has changed round these parts. The stark change has been my relationships with everyone and everything. From my relationship with Nick to my relationship with my cat, even with myself. The hardest part about this is that I am normally a "reflector" - needing large quantities of time to examine what is going on and how to digest it, to see how I fit into the latest version of my life. Right now my largest quantities of "alone time" are spent in the shower or washing dishes or trying to put together announcements or just generally catching up. It's not that I didn't expect this, you see, I just hadn't lived it yet.

That's another thing the "wait untils" - I'm not waiting until, I'm trying to live in this moment and figure THIS thing out. When the next thing comes I'll handle that but for now, I'm handling this. I'm sure I can handle anything that comes my way just as generations of women before me have handled it and generations after me will. I'm a very smart woman, you know, quite adaptable with a spectacular partner who is equally as adaptable. As Buddhism believes, everything you need is inside you just have to find ways to access it. Just give me reprieve while I acclimate myself, please.

early literacy

Zoey had about 10 minutes of alert chill time in her pack-n-play the other day so I figured she might like a book to check out. A developmentally appropriate black & white book with bold images, of course. She loved it. It totally captured her attention. I was one proud English major mama!

mama & zoey chillin' in the yard...

...under the maple tree while I read a magazine to her and we discussed how much she might need to have in her college fund in 2028. then she found her toes and our conversation turned to body part identification. Nick roto-tilled the garden. it was a nice evening.





let's see if i can add a video:

television

I'm starting to really like the early show on cbs. I get the last "shift" which when Nick isn't working is from 6-9a. When he is working (which has only been one day) it's 4-7. Each shift is defined by what is on TV, really. Remember when the M-C Lites didn't have cable? There are also two ladies on the early show one of which is a new mom and the other is pregnant. I love looking at the preggers lady and thanking god that I finally have my body back to myself.

Cheers is on from 1-4 which rocks. Cheers was awesome when I was little but it's even better as an adult. Sports Center keeps me informed on both the basketball and hockey finals which I have no interest in. haha, although I am kind of routing for the Celtics in the NBA. Probably because of some nostalgic Larry Bird notion from my past. Don't tell LW, though.

I turn the boob tube off after the early show and turn on the radio. TV is like soda, I keep saying, too much makes you feel yucky. So we listen to pandora and chat with friends. In the afternoon, though, I need a change so I turn on "MTV Hitlist" or a music ondemand channel. I confess, there is a 14 year old girl that lives deep inside of me who still loves music videos. If only Beach MTV with Dan Cortese was still on. *sigh*

here's your zoey fix for the day: (yes, that's mtv hitlist in the back)

rilke

I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

this was the quote in my daily early childhood education newsletter this morning. i thought it was quite beautiful.

almost as beautiful as this:

Zoey

The moment a child is born,
the mother is also born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new.
Rajneesh

I ran across this quote in March and thought it was quite a beautiful sentiment.

Zoey Mary was born on May 10, 2010 at 1:16 in the afternoon. She weighed in at 6lbs, 9oz and 19 and a quarter inches. She is strong and beautiful. These are the two sentiments I keep hearing. I love when people tell me how strong she is (really, she's a brut for 5 days old - and these nurses and techs have extensive experience with infants). Of course she is strong, I grew her.

mother's day

no baby yet today. snow, though. we watched it snow as we sat in nezuntoz and ate our breakfast. how odd.

and how 'bout those yankees! they've obliterated the stinkin red sox and i'm hoping for a sweeeeep tonite!!

Feliz cumpleaños, Padre!

Today is my dad's birthday. Yes, a busy week for birthdays. I'll be really surprised if Z doesn't share a birthday with SOMEONE.

Have I ever told you that my dad rocks? He is my hero. He's done so much for my sister and I - taught us how to be strong, independent women. He is our rock. He taught us everything we know about baseball and life, usually while watching the Yankees. That was usually our time to catch up on what was going on, while intermittently cheering/yelling at the players. I guess that's why I love and am so comforted by watching baseball. Though, honestly, I really suck at playing. heehee.

No Imact Man

I just finished watching "No Impact Man" which was a very interesting documentary about a man, his wife, their baby daughter and their year project to live with as little impact to the Earth as possible. It was impressive, I have to say. I understand that it got some serious flack for being insane and that the no impact man is a bourgeois f*@k, etc. It made me think a lot about our environmental impact.

Certainly, after the showers I was astounded at the environmental footprint my unborn child had already made on the Earth. The friggen packaging of things...my god, just the little plastic tags on clothes alone! It's just sad and weird to think about.

It's overwhelming to think about, really. The environmental impact of the banana sitting in our fruit basket. I try to do little things but I never feel like it's enough. I suppose, though, it's got to make some difference. If everyone changed one light bulb in their house to a CFL it would eliminate the equivalent of the emissions created by one million cars. Hmm...

I just want to make some kind of difference...

happy birthday, plummer!

i hope zoey either comes today or that the hospital gets cable because there's a Boston series this weekend. heehee.

it would be great if Zoey decided today was the day and she shared a birthday with MJP over at the nerd hut. Mike is seriously one of my favorite people in the world. Without he and Emily our Baltimore experience would have been seriously lacking in good times. And I never would have been able to witness the awesomeness of mike and nick playing crossbows and catapults: the late night intoxication version - which is VERY intense. You just don't meet people like the Plummers very often in life and it was very lucky that we did. The sad thought is, we may never live in the same town again, but it was such a fun time when we did that we will all be friends forever, and for that I am so grateful.

April 2004::

Cinco de Mayo

I wasn't actually sure what Cinco de Mayo celebrated, although I was pretty sure it was celebrating Mexican freedom. WRONG. I'm such a gringo! Thankfully, wikipedia informed me all about Cinco de Mayo which is basically the Mexican-American's version of St. Patrick's Day. A celebration of culture. I wish there were a parade in Binghamton for it. :/

It's also Jay Koz's birthday so if Z were born today she would share with him. Who knows what will happen...she's on her schedule and I'm just along for the ride.

Although I can't wait for her to arrive I also have been thoroughly enjoying my early morning peace. Perusing facebook updates, drinking my tea and eating my delicious corn flakes and home-made granola cereal. oh yeah, my new fave!! I have wanted to make my own granola for a year but was too preoccupied with other things to take the time to do it. Then I found the easiest recipe ever and tried it. delicious! or since it's cinco de mayo i suppose i should say "es muy delicioso!"

You can find the recipe here.

cousin o' mine.

My littlest cousin is 5 today! heehee. I love having a cousin who is 25 years younger than me - it's fun to play cut throat CandyLand - you can't do that with your 3 year old students. I would never chant "peanut brittle! peanut brittle!" in hopes that one of my students would have to move back, because that's just not behavior you want to model...but with E. it's different because he's a Miller, he's tough. He gives it right back and it's okay because we're cousins, I'm no authority figure. It rocks.

So, if Zoey is born today she will share a birthday with E. I share a birthday with his oldest brother N. (18 years apart on that one). It's also Seth H-V's birthday! We'll just have to wait and see... :)

lazy blogger

I've been off for a month and haven't blogged. As you can see, I changed the look of my page but haven't been inspired to write. I use most of the little energy I have picking up the house, doing the endless dishes and then I sit down and read the 40 other blogs that I love to read.

Today is Zoey's due date. I'm not banking on her arrival - and hoping she doesn't come until I at least finish this load of laundry, it has some serious essentials in it. :)

I hope I never become housebound. The past week I have had little energy to do much outside of the house. Luckily, my sister moved back and kept me company at the end of the week and I had some visitors at the beginning of the week. However, it's not about the lack of contact with people it's just being inside these walls day after day without being able to tackle big projects. It makes me realize just how lucky I am to have my health, even whatever variation of it I have now. I can't wait to get back on my Wii and walking and hiking and jogging! Especially hiking and kayaking. I hope I can get up to the lake this summer and kayak around. In our birthing classes when they told us to well, basically go to our happy place, I just thought about being in a kayak, alone on Chase Lake.

i'll just have to wait...i'm getting really good at it...