week 35

my life ticks by in weeks until the due date of my daughter. this week is my last week at work. With such impeccable timing spring break is the first week in april and I am taking 3 weeks before my due date off as I have enough vacation time to do so. Thank God. Being a preschool teacher is exhausting so is being pregnant. Doing both is ridiculous especially now at the end of this pregnancy.

How weird to be so close to the end of my second year of teaching. How different this year has been than last. On so many levels.

It is going to be very hard to say good-bye to my students this week but at the same time it will be such a relief. I am normally such a hard-worker and hands on teacher always running around with the children and getting down on their level. Racing on the playground, pulling the children in wagons. Now I am like a big blob. Obviously, there is reason behind this but it's annoying. It will be a relief to know my co-teacher has someone who is physically able to help her. Also, it will be a relief not to feel like I'm letting the children down when I tell them I can't do something because my body isn't able any more. Selfishly it will be a relief to just lay on my couch and be exhausted for a little bit cuz that ain't happenin' for a long time after Z comes!!

baseball and birthing...

My mom told me one of my favorite "tiny kate" stories last night. It the one where I come home from being born in the hospital and she and my dad put me on the card table to watch the world series. That was back when the world series was in the beginning of October. That year it actually began on Oct 10 (day of my birth)... is it no wonder that baseball is the most soothing thing on Earth to me?

So, yeah I purchased The New York Yankees Fall Classic Collector's Edition 1996 - 2001 DVD set to take to the hospital in lieu of "relaxing music" for labor. I don't care what your opinion is about this idea. I love it. It refocuses my attention to something and that is the point of soothing music or whatever right? You're supposed to go to your happy place? Well, my happy place is wherever the Yankees are playing. If you know me, you may remember back in 2004 when I was having debilitating panic attacks. There were only 2 remedies: milk and Yankees games. Seriously. My poor inlaws were kind enough to listen to a midday game the entire way from Binghamton to the Albany airport that August.

We start our final baby class this week: birthing. I don't want to go. I am so fricken tired of baby stuff. I want to go crash a graduate English course at BU. A year ago 3/15 I started my Master's Thesis which was about a billion times harder and more interesting. Plus no one gave me that knowing look or an annoying comment when I was writing my thesis. I have to start writing again or doing something intellectual. (and don't you dare tell me "good luck with that, you'll have a newborn soon" I swear to the HP...seriously.) my soul is withering away...but it's march so i guess this is the annual sh*tstorm before the joy of spring...