define intense living

While doing research on the Kunstlerroman I find the passage "art is rooted in experience and the person who lives most intensely is the best artist" (beebe, ivory towers and sacred founts, p6).

what defines intense living?

how can i live intensely? do i? have i? do i want to?

getting there

every stroke of the paintbrush this weekend was one step closer to finishing the updates to our apartment for our new tenant and closer to coming home and attempting to work on the paper.

oh yeah, i'm still writing my thesis, right? on top of moving and improving!

hee.

Went up to Cortland yesterday morning as soon as I woke up to return some books and get some new ones out.

Remember that whole part about Lan Cao and how it was going to be relatively painless to just add her into the already made paper. Well, my paper's official title was "The Transcultural Kunstlerroman..." and Monkey Bride (her work) is not a K-roman.

Alas...so I'm concentrating on more defining of the Kunstlerroman, the origins and how the two texts fit into the genre.

and perhaps a little postfeminism in there for a good measure.

I still have so much to say...

and so many rooms in this house to paint! I'll post photos of the wackiness soon.

we've closed on the house and are moved in... at least, our stuff is there and we're staying there... eventually there will even be internet access and a phone and cable there... until then I have an "office" in one house and "life" in another. split personalities??

...and so it goes...

...22 pages and then some...

i just printed and collated 25 pieces of paper, the final touch a cool paper clip my friend CDW gave me once. The first part of my paper IS DONE. It turned out to be 22 pages (1 extra page for the title page, 2 for works cited).

isn't it pretty??? (and you can see my well polished toe from my pedi with kami!)


I feel accomplished and I feel like I have so much in front of me...which is daunting and exciting all at once. I can't stop now...

...especially since the BAEYC is beckoning me once again. I wrote my letter of resignation but I still have to finish this term...which has the possibility of an oral presentation...you know, on top of everything else everyone has going on this time of year...

... and I lost 3 days of writing in one fell swoop...thought I had days off that I never had in the first place

but I will persevere and get this done!

yet...part of me doesn't want it to end...when I'm done with this...what's next? I know what's next...HOPEFULLY painting my house if we ever have the closing... and decorating...UNPACKING... but what about all this work...

Gloria Anzaldúa writes, "living in a state of psychic unrest, in a Borderland, is what makes poets write and artists create" ... i'm so afraid if i don't continue on this path i'll never create again... I hadn't in years before I embarked on this...

...oh lord...we'll cross that bridge when we get there, I suppose...

home stretch...part one

Okay ...so, I am on the final editing stages of the first paper. Which really is the whole paper minus one author. Right. 20 pages due next week, all written...now it just needs editing, fine tuning.

We had peer reviews which i was a little nervous about, especially since I really hadn't looked over the paper before I handed it off to another English nerd to read. ;) Lots of positive feedback! One of my reviewers was actually a woman who grew up in China so it was cool for her to read it! She even dug it. Which rocked because there is such a debate over... who may speak for who. As a German/British Isles American Mutt am I allowed to speak on behalf of first generation Americans? This is up for debate but apparently I did okay for my reviewer. :)

I actually feel pretty smart right now. It feels pretty awesome.

Next steps: crazy editing, submit this on Wednesday. CLASS IS DONE! Then get to work on fashioning this into a 30-5 pager to be submitted 6-8.

Random life stuff (i don't have much of one right now but...)::: I'm celebrating my sister's 25th birthday tomorrow! Yay! I found out today I am working the first summer session at the center. No word on a closing date yet. We're hoping by the end of the YEAR! or at least century... but Phil Jordan said May so...

.........HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADRIANA.........

16

16p/20 16p/30+ both without any editing.

so so beautiful!

i even sat outside while doing some research for an hour or so yesterday!

I was reading Gloria Anzaldúa, an author with roots in both Mexican and American cultures. Her words gave me chills:

"Living in a state of psychic unrest, in a Borderland, is what makes poets write and artists create...

To write, to be a writer, I have to trust and believe in myself as a speaker, as a voice for the images. I ahve to believe that I can communicate with images adn words and taht I can do it well. A lack of belief in my creative self is a lack of belief in my total self and vice versa- I cannot separate my writing from any part of my life. It is all one.

When I write it feels like I'm carving bone. It feels like I'm creating my own face, my own heart -- a Nahuatl concept. My soul makes itself through the creative act. It is constantly remaking and giving birth to itself through my body" (95).


from Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza

a little schizo post

okay i have 10 pages which is FREAKING me out. FREAKING ME OUT! Will i get the 20 I need by next tuesday (4/29)? Will I get the 30 I need for the thesis? Will I ever get to see the friggen sun? It was 72 today, I heard. I was here, typing away so I wouldn't know...

...I am summoning everythign I have to finish 15 pages by the end of tomorrow...I am actually RE-OUTLINING right now, at 130AM.

and I don't want my vacation to end!!

I have liked my quiet space.

...I took 4 bags of old clothes to the drop off today. From my closet. have you ever seen how small my closet is? I had to stop typing after 6 hours but I HAD to accomplish something.